Jenny and I played poker tonight.
I had the best luck I've ever had in my life.
I never win poker. I always get crap cards.
But tonight? Tonight alone I got a straight five separate times.
...
Too bad we were playing for pasta, burned out fuses, and granola bars.
(EDIT: And not a single schlichengrüber!)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
What Time Is It?
Thanks to Sweden, I can't tell time anymore.
No, seriously.
In so many different ways.
Let's start with daylight savings. Or lack thereof. We set the clocks back earlier than the US, which means winter hours started even sooner here. Now that the clocks have set back, the sun officially sets before 4 pm these days.
3:56 pm today, to be precise.
In one month, it will be setting at 3 pm. And it won't rise again until almost 9 am.
Right now, it gets pitch black by 4:30. It's lunchtime here and I only have a few hours of sunlight left in the day.
My body clock refuses to catch up. I can't tell what time of day it is anymore. I look around in the dark, swear it must be almost midnight, and look at a clock only to discover it's dinnertime.
And the dates? Just one more thing...
I grew up with the American system, which - no surprise - is different than how everyone else in the world does it. Today is November 5, 2009 or 11/05/09. But not here. It's 5 November 2009. Or 05/11/09. Or maybe 09/11/05. If you ask someone to write the month and day, you get day and month. But when they ask for your birth date on a form, you write year then month then day. I start getting lost in it all. Every time I see a number, I first see it with 27 years of American eyes, then try to correct it for the new system... usually incorrectly.
I can't tell whether our milk expires next week or already did sometime in last year.
I can't wait for October 10 of next year, when I can once again be guaranteed that I won't screw up writing the date.
And then there's actually asking or telling the time, which I try to avoid like the plague. I have successfully avoided learning this so far when studying Swedish with Jenny. It seems silly to me, so my brain tries to shut it out. But now we're studying it in Swedish class. So I have to.
Ask me what time it is when I'm in the US and you get a nice, simple, straightforward and efficient answer.
12:35. Twelve thirty-five. Three words. Two numbers. Easy.
Here? No such luck.
Fem över halv ett.
Translation: Five past half of one.
Eh?
Everything else is quarter past or five til or ten of...
And this doesn't even begin to address my brain's half-second that it needs every time it sees military time because everything here is on the 24-hour clock.
And there's still my constant thinking in terms of time zones whether I am thinking of Illinois, where my family and most friends are (7 hours behind), or San Francisco, where other friends are (9 hours behind), or New York and the east coast (6 hours behind) or Denver, where my brother lives (8 hours behind).
Of course, until the clocks rolled back in the US last weekend, there were a few weeks where I had to retrain myself to think of things in terms of 6, 8, 5, and 7 hours behind, respectfully.
Oh, and let's not forget the times of the day as well.
If it is 7 am, officially morgon or "morning," I would say godmorgon or "good morning." So, then i morgon, which literally means "in the morning", must mean "in the morning", right?
Wrong.
It means "tomorrow."
And then there's middag, commonly known as "noon" in the US. That word has two meanings as well. It's also a meal.
Oh, so it must mean "lunch", right?
No, silly. It means "dinner". Lunch means "lunch".
Which is pronounced "loonch". Or loon/sj/, which is a sound I can't properly type out on this American keyboard and also can't properly make with these American lips. It's kind of like the noise you would make if you were blowing out a candle while also throwing in a quiet "H" and "W".
So, just to clarify, you eat lunch at middag which is followed by the time known as eftermiddag which is immediately followed by eating middag.
My brain hurts.
I'm gonna take a nap.
Wake me up...
...
...whenever.
No, seriously.
In so many different ways.
Let's start with daylight savings. Or lack thereof. We set the clocks back earlier than the US, which means winter hours started even sooner here. Now that the clocks have set back, the sun officially sets before 4 pm these days.
3:56 pm today, to be precise.
In one month, it will be setting at 3 pm. And it won't rise again until almost 9 am.
Right now, it gets pitch black by 4:30. It's lunchtime here and I only have a few hours of sunlight left in the day.
My body clock refuses to catch up. I can't tell what time of day it is anymore. I look around in the dark, swear it must be almost midnight, and look at a clock only to discover it's dinnertime.
And the dates? Just one more thing...
I grew up with the American system, which - no surprise - is different than how everyone else in the world does it. Today is November 5, 2009 or 11/05/09. But not here. It's 5 November 2009. Or 05/11/09. Or maybe 09/11/05. If you ask someone to write the month and day, you get day and month. But when they ask for your birth date on a form, you write year then month then day. I start getting lost in it all. Every time I see a number, I first see it with 27 years of American eyes, then try to correct it for the new system... usually incorrectly.
I can't tell whether our milk expires next week or already did sometime in last year.
I can't wait for October 10 of next year, when I can once again be guaranteed that I won't screw up writing the date.
And then there's actually asking or telling the time, which I try to avoid like the plague. I have successfully avoided learning this so far when studying Swedish with Jenny. It seems silly to me, so my brain tries to shut it out. But now we're studying it in Swedish class. So I have to.
Ask me what time it is when I'm in the US and you get a nice, simple, straightforward and efficient answer.
12:35. Twelve thirty-five. Three words. Two numbers. Easy.
Here? No such luck.
Fem över halv ett.
Translation: Five past half of one.
Eh?
Everything else is quarter past or five til or ten of...
And this doesn't even begin to address my brain's half-second that it needs every time it sees military time because everything here is on the 24-hour clock.
And there's still my constant thinking in terms of time zones whether I am thinking of Illinois, where my family and most friends are (7 hours behind), or San Francisco, where other friends are (9 hours behind), or New York and the east coast (6 hours behind) or Denver, where my brother lives (8 hours behind).
Of course, until the clocks rolled back in the US last weekend, there were a few weeks where I had to retrain myself to think of things in terms of 6, 8, 5, and 7 hours behind, respectfully.
Oh, and let's not forget the times of the day as well.
If it is 7 am, officially morgon or "morning," I would say godmorgon or "good morning." So, then i morgon, which literally means "in the morning", must mean "in the morning", right?
Wrong.
It means "tomorrow."
And then there's middag, commonly known as "noon" in the US. That word has two meanings as well. It's also a meal.
Oh, so it must mean "lunch", right?
No, silly. It means "dinner". Lunch means "lunch".
Which is pronounced "loonch". Or loon/sj/, which is a sound I can't properly type out on this American keyboard and also can't properly make with these American lips. It's kind of like the noise you would make if you were blowing out a candle while also throwing in a quiet "H" and "W".
So, just to clarify, you eat lunch at middag which is followed by the time known as eftermiddag which is immediately followed by eating middag.
My brain hurts.
I'm gonna take a nap.
Wake me up...
...
...whenever.
V
I watched the series premiere of "V" last night, hoping for some flashbacks of watching it as a child when the original TV series aired.
Instead, I got what seemed to me (keep in mind, I am hopelessly paranoid) to be clumsy digs at the Obama administration.
Whether thinly veiled (a skeptical priest commenting that it is just to convenient for some "savior" showing up just when people need hope the most) to the outright blatant ("You mean universal healthcare?" the TV news personality to the Visitors saying they want to provide care for the world's sick)... well... it was all rather silly.
I'm not one to usually get upset about criticism of the government. I think it is a great and essential part of the system necessary to keep as much of a balance as possible. But, really? Make the issues of Hope and Universal Healthcare the most suspicious deeds perpetrated by evil alien invaders intent on exterminating the human race? Is that the best that can be done?
Pick something else... anything... I mean, as truly exhilarating as it is to have a television show where one of the most dramatic lines involves the use of the term "universal healthcare", let's not forget that there is plenty of good - albeit, certainly less dramatic - fodder out there.
For example, the current anti-counterfeit treaty being drawn up by the administration, which is really more of a copyright treaty, the ramifications of which could be ridiculously far-reaching and damaging to the issue of free speech on the internet. Or any other of a dozen other issues we could choose to focus on pressuring the administration and Congress to do better with other than the evil Bringing Far Too Much Hope To The People and (cue dramatic music) Ensuring Quality Healthcare For Those Unable To Afford The Current Options.
And you, TV? Yeah, you. I know you suck for the most part and offer mostly mindless drivel designed purely for the sale of advertising space and I should always strive to keep my expectations painfully low. But please... get your shit together.
Of course, I suppose I'll be the one eating crow when Obama pulls off his mask and ends up being a Socialist Reptilian Space Invader from Beyond.
Instead, I got what seemed to me (keep in mind, I am hopelessly paranoid) to be clumsy digs at the Obama administration.
Whether thinly veiled (a skeptical priest commenting that it is just to convenient for some "savior" showing up just when people need hope the most) to the outright blatant ("You mean universal healthcare?" the TV news personality to the Visitors saying they want to provide care for the world's sick)... well... it was all rather silly.
I'm not one to usually get upset about criticism of the government. I think it is a great and essential part of the system necessary to keep as much of a balance as possible. But, really? Make the issues of Hope and Universal Healthcare the most suspicious deeds perpetrated by evil alien invaders intent on exterminating the human race? Is that the best that can be done?
Pick something else... anything... I mean, as truly exhilarating as it is to have a television show where one of the most dramatic lines involves the use of the term "universal healthcare", let's not forget that there is plenty of good - albeit, certainly less dramatic - fodder out there.
For example, the current anti-counterfeit treaty being drawn up by the administration, which is really more of a copyright treaty, the ramifications of which could be ridiculously far-reaching and damaging to the issue of free speech on the internet. Or any other of a dozen other issues we could choose to focus on pressuring the administration and Congress to do better with other than the evil Bringing Far Too Much Hope To The People and (cue dramatic music) Ensuring Quality Healthcare For Those Unable To Afford The Current Options.
And you, TV? Yeah, you. I know you suck for the most part and offer mostly mindless drivel designed purely for the sale of advertising space and I should always strive to keep my expectations painfully low. But please... get your shit together.
Of course, I suppose I'll be the one eating crow when Obama pulls off his mask and ends up being a Socialist Reptilian Space Invader from Beyond.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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