Backpack Feared Dead (Or Something); Worldwide Search Begins; Suspect Still Missing

BLOOMINGTON, IL - The much-loved and rarely used backpack of local resident, Tom Hopper, is still missing after vanishing "a week ago-ish", according to local authorities.

Search-and-rescue teams have been scouring the city following leads from dozens of concerned residents interested in collecting Hopper's promised "two or three hug" reward.

"Yeah, I've seen some backpacks this week," said seriously concerned local, Jeff Karr. "Can I have my hugs now?"

The whereabouts of prime suspect, Nick $now, continue to go unknown but the aptly named international police agency, Interpol, has now become involved.

"We are scouring the Western world for this (alleged) abductor," said Interpol agent John MacIntyre, the official heading up the case. He added, "We don't take this kind of thing lightly."

Earlier yesterday, Hopper's wife, Meighan, chose to write an official statement to the press due to the emotional strain on her husband or because of the fact that he was maybe just messing around in the garage.

We just want the responsible party to know that
all we want is the safe return of the backpack
to its home. We have two young daughters and
they will probably start crying about this any
day now.

Local authorities have set up food tents and lodging for the hundreds of volunteers that flood this Midwestern town daily, offering help in any way they can.

At press time, a weary-eyed Hopper appeared in front of thousands of supporters, using a stage that had been erected for the local bands playing to raise money for the efforts. A tearful and heartwarming speech followed, one that was too emotionally moving for this reporter to recount. The crowd broke into applause and deep sobs upon its conclusion.

Encouraged by cheers of "Encore! Encore!" Hopper once again gathered the strength to mount that mighty stage and added, "I dunno. Its probably just in the backseat of his car where I left it."