Ugh.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - So, I got sick. Again. That makes twice in two weeks. I'm pretty sure I must be dying. Seems to be the only reasonable conclusion.

Unfortunately, it was food poisoning. From In 'N' Out Burger. A Double Double Meal, Animal Style. I cried a little. Mostly because I don't think I'll be able to eat it ever again. Reminds me of the one time I got really sick after eating some chicken wraps my mom made (sorry, ma... that was a long time ago). I couldn't even look at a chicken wrap for years without throwing up a little in my mouth. That has since gone away, but now I can't think of fast food without wanting to vomitar. Probably a good thing, eh?

I won't go into the details of the food poisoning... it was short lived but certainly not pretty. A 24-hour diet of water and pretzels.

The worst part is that I had to call in to work the second time in two weeks as well. Which, for anyone who hasn't heard, means I have a part-time job now at Trader Joe's (as long as they don't fire me for continued absences). Haven't heard of Trader Joe's? What's wrong with you?

It's a pretty great grocer. Small and relatively "independent". Kind of like a big specialty store with food items from all around the world. And I get 10% off. Which has made me a favorite around the hostel, as "Two Buck Chuck" has officially become "Dollar-Eighty Chuck". I'm gonna start charging a handling fee.

Speaking of which, I've started a new game at work. It goes a little something like this. I'm always working the grocery aisle (that's "I sales" to you, Jeffery). It's the biggest part of the store, comprising of two aisles (in a store that only has four aisles to begin with). It covers everything except cereal, fruits, vegetables, and regular beverages. Which means wine. And if you know me, you know I don't know a damn thing about wine... something the customers are not aware of. So, here's the trick. Can I convince the customers I know anything about wine and, if so, can I get them to listen to me?

I got the idea from Jono, an Australian fella who stayed at the hostel. While going to school, he has been working at a wine shop. Funny thing is, he knows nothing about wine either. But he puts on a good show. When customers ask, he goes into great detail about "full flavors" and "woodiness" and any other crap that happens to fall out of his mouth. It turns out, most of those people who go into high-end wine shops and talk a mean game don't know a damn thing about wine either, because they listen to Jono and even thank him for his advice after the fact from time to time.

As it goes, wherever you go in life, most people are just as happy being sold the concept of something as they are being sold the thing itself. If I tell them I'm handing them the best thing ever and do so convincingly enough, they walk away just as happy as they would if they had done the hard work themselves to find a product that truly is quality. It seems like the only way to explain away things like people waiting in line for days to purchase an iPhone that deep down everyone knows isn't going to work correctly for the first few versions anyway.

That's the American Way, isn't it? When it really comes down to it, I want to be convinced something is good. Whether it's pizza or love or a new car, I want to be sold. Somehow it's more fulfilling that way, especially when you think there are other people out there who think the same thing. How many times in your life have you wanted to be the only one who knew about something that was good? Probably never. I don't want to be the only one who knows about that excellent dish at the little restaurant. But the trick is figuring out whether I don't want to be the only one because I desperately want to share this tasty thing with someone close to me or because I just simply don't want to be alone with it - I want someone else to know I have good taste.

So that's my new game: Can I sell the concept of good wine - something I know nothing about - to a stranger? Thus far, the answer seems to be "yes". Is it because my theory about everyone is correct or because ultimately no one really knows a damn thing about wine and anyone who pretends to is a fraud? Perhaps we'll never know.