The First Step

BLOOMINGTON, IL - I just got back to Bloomington tonight and there's only a few days left until I head out for this trip. Some anxiety is beginning to build but it's exciting to know I'm going to break through it soon.

Already a little bump in my personal road. Worries stand in my way so often and keep me from doing the things I want. Earlier today I really wanted to say something to someone but didn't, for a variety of reasons. Spending so much time in my head can be really inhibiting. Now I'm regretting not saying what I wanted to say. I really don't like being a person living with regrets. Might be a couple months before I am really in a position to make up for this. Damn. Not quite sure what my problem is, but I guess that's a large part of the purpose of this trip... getting to the root of that kind of thing.

Tom and I were talking the other night and the idea of a personal manifesto for this journey came up. An outstanding idea. Now, I've never written a personal manifesto and, while I feel it is long overdue, I'm not quite sure how to go about writing one. We decided on two personal goals.

1) I need to meet someone new every day. I'm actually quite bad at putting myself out there to do this and I really want to break through this. So, now I need to do this every day. There are no excuses for not doing so. And I'm probably going to need to do this just to survive out there (alright, maybe that's a little dramatic). But meeting new people is going to be key for accomplishing all the little goals I have on this trip.

2) I can't turn down invitations to social engagements. After some discussion, we both realized how many things we had missed out on because we would decide for some reason or another to say no to some fun thing we could have taken part in. So, now I can't. Or won't. If I get invited out to do something, no matter what it is (well, I suppose there are a few exceptions), I'm just going to do it rather than get into my head and come up with some sorry excuse for not doing it. And, assuming I'm following goals #1, there should be plenty of opportunities to practice this.

Seeing as how I don't have any experience writing manifestos, does anyone have any suggestions? Any ideas for some guidelines to set for my trip? Let me know.