Alright, here's the update. I didn't feel I would do this blog justice if I tried to write last night. I really had a good weekend. I headed down to Colorado Springs, met up with Lindsey, and headed to her church to check-in and get on buses. It wasn't until I got to the church that I realized Lindsey's church is New Life Church, the church that was founded by Ted Haggard, who became embroiled in a scandal last year involving a homosexual prostitute and some meth. Google it if you have questions. It is a very large church (reporting a congregation of 14,000) and leaves Eastview looking like a startup organization (all you BloNoers know what I'm talking about). An incredibly Evangelical group of individuals. The church is also strongly associated with Focus on the Family, a group that supports reparative therapy for homosexuals, school prayer, and corporal punishment. The church has a lot of political influence, or rather, Ted Haggard did. I'm not clear on the church's current involvement in politics. Regardless, if you know me, you know this is not the type of environment I am entirely comfortable with.
Now, let me say this though - the people I spent my time with were great. As individuals, they had some of the biggest hearts. Very giving people. I'm very grateful for the experience. In fact, if it weren't for that giving spirit, I wouldn't have been able to go at all. They gave me a "scholarship" so that I could attend the retreat for $25 rather than the original fee of $160. Pretty cool.
Anyway, we had a 3 hour drive up into the mountains to get to Winter Park Resort, CO, where Crooked Creek Ranch was located. I had some good conversations during the trip. When we got there, I grabbed a bunk in a big room, meeting up with Danny and Daniel. I ended up hanging out with Danny quite a bit during the retreat. After this, we headed to the first sermon (there only ended up being 4 during the whole retreat). This sermon, like the others, mainly dealt with the topic of faith, following the theme of being "thirsty," which happened to be the name of the retreat.
Other than the sermons, there was a lot of free time. The first night, despite everyone insisting they wouldn't buckle to peer pressure, I managed to succeed in peer pressuring Lindsey's group of friends into hitting the hot tub (which could hold up to 70 people) for a late night dip. Some funny stories were told. Then off to bed.
The food there was pretty good. Each meal was served banquet style. As long as you emptied the serving plates, they brought out more. Both nights there I also grabbed some stuff from the snack shop they had there. Daniel (mentioned earlier) really was a great guy. He was one of the "leaders" on the trip and we rarely ended up seeing him because he was so busy. He volunteered both nights at the snack shop and during the day on Saturday, missing out on most of the fun times, keeping a smile on his face the whole time. A very giving guy.
Saturday morning I headed out with Danny for a hike. As we left, the weather was nice and I didn't even wear a jacket. Climbing the mountain, the air was still and silent. Wonderful. We saw a moose in the woods, something I've never witnessed in person. My camera was in my pocket so I didn't get a picture. We walked all the way up, around, then headed back down.
As we were headed towards the bottom, large bits of snow (not hail) were falling down on us. I tried to get a picture but it wouldn't show. We made it to the bottom just in time for lunch.
After lunch, Lindsey, Lynel, Isaac, and Tim decided to skip the planned activity in the gym and hike up the other side of the property. This was a considerably more difficult hike. It was much more of an incline and I was struggling with the unfamiliar altitude. The air was pretty thin. My muscles were doing fine but I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. A much slower hike. As we reached the top, snow started to come down. By the time we reached the top, there was a clear layer of snow on the ground.
The hike down was fun and we walked into rain by the time we reached the bottom. My shoes were wet, my socks were soaked, and my jacket needed some drying, but it was a lot of fun.
We went our separate ways. I thought about taking a shower and a nap but instead decided I should head into the hot tub again. By the time I got to the hot tub, it was snowing outside. So there I was, sitting in a massive hot tub on the side of the mountain with snow dropping down on me. It was a really nice experience.
I got out and felt quite warm, despite the snow around me, so I didn't rush back to the room. After grabbing a shower, I headed to the Rec area and met up with Danny. We played some ping pong (if you were wondering, I won each time) and then went to dinner.
After dinner was a hoedown, which I was apparently quite unprepared for. Many people were decked out in some god awful cowboy getups.
All I had left that was clean and dry was a mismatched sweater and pair of pants. Oh well. Good times nonetheless.
The evening sermon was pretty long. I have difficulty understanding "worship" as listening to a band rock out worship songs. It seemed as though people were moved by this, but I guess I get mostly hung up on the idea of having to modernize your religion to make it more appealing. Especially for a group so concerned with accepting the Bible as a literal work. While on that issue, I also struggle with the idea of updating scripture. This group used the NIV heavily, which I disagree with. I also disagree with the King James Version. Basically, I disagree with versions. Do I accept the Bible in it's purest form as the absolute truth, a literal work free of corruption or interpretation by human hands? No. But I think that removing it even further from the original source corrupts any message in it even more. If you believe in a god that speaks directly to people and inspires a work like this, does that god make typos? I respect the Torah so much because of the respect that is given to it, leaving it unaltered. Why does a religion need to be hip and cool? If a religion doesn't resonate with you, maybe it just doesn't. Maybe it's wrong to try to make it more appealing. I don't pretend to be right or to know all the answers, but I know what feels right and wrong to me. Lynel agreed with me on the issue of altering the message. It was comforting to find someone that, while her beliefs and mine were still drastically different, there was still a very common ground concerning the nature of a religion. This is why I don't have a religion to call my own. I haven't found a belief system that fits me 100%. If it doesn't, it isn't for me. My usual example of this: If I go around saying I'm a basketball player, but I don't dribble the ball, I don't pass, and I kick it instead of throwing it, am I really a basketball player? I'm playing a different game. I don't expect the game to conform to my expectations. I'd rather develop my own belief system, continue to fine tune and define it, and work as hard as I can to lead a good life. I don't know for sure if or what exists out there, but I imagine the true goal for each person would be to try to bring as much good to this place and this experience as possible.
Regardless of my own beliefs, I did enjoy the sermons. Each speaker was engaging and entertaining and had good things to say about the nature of faith. I was a bit bothered by the fact that Starbucks was mentioned no fewer than 15 times over the course of the 4 sermons, often to the great delight of the crowd, for whatever reason. It was worked in again and again, along with other materialistic points of reference, despite each sermon, at some point, touching on the idea of rejecting these earthly desires we have. McWorship? Again, I took something away from each sermon, each one meaning something to me, even if the message I received was that this particular faith was not for me. It was very touching to see so many people in one place actively involved in their faith. It was doing so much for them. Hands were raised, people were singing to themselves, bodies were rocking and praying. Very charismatic. I felt grateful for the opportunity to be there to witness it. And, while I hold very different beliefs, I felt much more certain about my particular beliefs. Strangely, it did a lot for me.
After the Saturday night sermon, I went to change so I could spend some time outside. Danny asked me some questions about what I thought so far and we had a brief discussion that touched on some of my beliefs. He expressed a lot of surprise in finding out that I wasn't a religious person. I explained to him how much of my time for the past 13 years has been consumed with investigating various beliefs and philosophies while I formulate my own. A daily work. I tried to explain how well this has worked for me and helped me develop as a person and how aligning with a religion doesn't seem as though it would benefit me in any way. He didn't have a lot to say and seemed as accepting of this as he could be, which I appreciated.
The rest of the night was a lot of fun. Most of it consisted of sitting with Lynel, Danny and Lindsey, telling funny stories. Some good TK times. A lot of outing our particular weaknesses and quirks. The word "cuddleslut" was used for maybe the first time in history and will probably end up sticking (there are those of you who will no doubt know exactly what/who this refers to, haha). A late night followed by an early wake up.
The next morning, there was snow everywhere. Up in the mountains, there was at least 6 inches in some places.
I packed up my things before heading to breakfast. Breakfast was a lot of fun. Danny ended up scavenging more than a dozen pieces of coffee cake from other tables to take on the trip home... he ended up giving them all away on the bus leaving himself with none to enjoy. And, while I doubt this needs to be said, Cholula on eggs is fantastic. Also, I found Christyle's Asian twin.
We all met up on Bus #8 again and headed back home. I heard that Danny had recently discovered Wu-Tang and I decided it was my job to encourage this musical choice as much as possible. He seemed genuinely surprised by some of the lyrics I ended up exposing him to. He had some on his iPod but I thought I should share a little more. Those in the seats around me seemed to enjoy my "ODB Shudder" I did through several songs. Bringing a little diversity to the trip. "Sandlot" was played through the TVs, much to our delight and the trip went by quickly. I spent the last leg of the trip, staring out the window and reflecting on my trip thus far. At one point, I fell asleep for about a half-second, alarming the three around me because I fell asleep and immediately jerked awake... while holding on the the seat in front of me. Funny.
I thought our small group was going to go out to lunch when we got back, but Lindsey said she needed to do several things that day and she was my ride back to my car. So, we all said goodbye and I headed back to Lindsey's apartment so I could grab my car. She asked if I wanted something to eat, so I stayed for that. Lindsey started asking about what I thought of the retreat and the conversation quickly turned into a discussion about my beliefs. I appreciated the time Lindsey spent discussing this with me, although the conversation eventually treaded water because I wasn't looking to convince her of anything and she really wasn't going to move me regarding my position about my beliefs.
I struggle with conversations involving conservative Christianity because there seem to be two trump cards which prevent real discussion from occurring. I understand that this kind of Christianity is based around the concept of ministry and converting others to this faith. But there seem to be fail safes built in which prevent a real discussion about two differing points. the trumps? #1: You must accept Jesus as your savior - or you go to a hell(whatever that means). It doesn't matter what kind of life you lead... if you don't accept this, bad things happen. If you do accept it, again, it ultimately doesn't matter what life you lead then. While harming others is considered wrong, the only real concern is whether you accept the religion. #2: If you have doubts about #1, these doubts and questions come from a devil, who is trying to lead you away. Any question you have, any doubt, is ultimately from some evil source trying to keep you from reaching #1. Both trumps that can't enter a conversation that involves logic, reasoning, or outside sources. Therefore defeating the purpose of said conversation. I appreciated the conversation we had and still learned from it... it just reached a point where we were treading water. I talked quite a bit about my own personal beliefs about the nature of everything, which really don't fall in line with these two beliefs. Although, I did take the opportunity to explain that deep down my beliefs are in line with the teachings of every major religion/philosophy out there - treating others as you want to be treated, even if my beliefs don't follow a particular dogma as far as religious rules go. I don't feel like explaining in detail my own particular belief system here, but I'd be happy to explain it to anyone who asks.
Overall, a great experience that generated plenty of thinking (wonderful, more time to get stuck in my head, haha). Again, I feel a lot of gratitude and am happy I got to meet everyone that I did. Really positive people who have a lot to offer the world.
I got back last night and, while not feeling drained, was definitely ready for some rest. I helped my brother with a window washing job this morning and took a nap that led to the afternoon. I ran some errands with my brother and had some Del Taco. Tonight, my brother's girlfriend came with us to see a movie, Superbad, at the discount theater. Just as funny the second time. I had a chance to talked to Tom, Meighan, and Christyle. Only now am I feeling like the weekend is over.
Have a good night. See you tomorrow.
1 comment:
Have you ever been to a church, or anywhere really, where they speak in tounges? Its baffling to watch.
--nicole
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